Student Actually Scared of Personal Project Made for Class

Struggling to explain herself, a local copywriting student gives her stance on the results of a personal project from the past semester:

“This is the strangest shit I’ve ever seen, and the most terrifying part is that it came out of my own mind. I was just trying to express myself, which turned out to be the worst idea ever. Could this actually help me get hired? I mean it is technically art.”

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School to Have Campus Mascot Judge End-of-Quarter Work

In a bold move, the School of Creative Awesomeness (SCA) has decided to let their mascot, a cute little Corgi dog, decide who wins best work of the quarter. The process is described as “smart, but simple” by co-founder Martin Toady.

At the end of each quarter, the administrators gather round the school’s largest television and go through the nominated work one by one, with the pup choosing either the MILK-BONE snack or the Beggin’ Strips treat. After three rounds, a winner is chosen. With this ingenious judging process, it’s no wonder SCA’s “Best of Quarter” award is among the most coveted trophies in the world.

Agency Offers Complimentary Sleeping Bag with Internship

In a genius (and generous) move by Guggenheim&Partners, they have announced that all of their summer interns will now receive a complementary G&P branded sleeping bag to make long nights at the agency just a little more comfortable.

G&P has reportedly seen a 3000% increase in applications since announcing the new policy.

“It was just the right thing to do.” Thomas Fatpocket, Global CEO & President

Ad Schools Slowly Phasing out Classes on Advertising

As a response to a global shift away from curriculums that teach people how to do the things they’ll actually be getting paid for, many ad schools are now making advertising classes part of premium programs, special electives, or just deleting them completely from the curriculum. Below we’ve gathered reactions from various creative advertising students.

“I didn’t even know what I didn’t know! This new shift in core curriculum is revolutionary. Ever since the Academy [of Concepts and Ideas] taught me ice sculpting, I’ve gotten 4 interview requests and 3 freelance offers. It’s incredible, really.” – Bryan

“I came to learn art direction, but left a rapper. Yes, a rapper.” – Tina

“Honestly, I never thought of myself as a stand-up comedian, and I still don’t. I’m just not cut out for it, so that class was kind of useless. I’m hoping my stellar advertising projects will be enough to land me an internship, but I’m told I don’t have much of a chance without some kind of interesting non-advertising talent.” – Tony

“I never even went to an ad school. I’ve never created anything, really, but I was a backup dancer for Beyonce once. That’s all it took for the job at CCDO. Cheers, bitches.” – Charles

Students Now to Spend First Two Weeks of Class Giving Teachers Crash Course on Advertising

The School of Creative Awesomeness (SCA) has just announced that in order to speed up the first two weeks of class commonly known as “Let’s Figure This The Fuck Out,” the students will actually serve as the teachers at the beginning of each class.

“This way, not only are our extremely talented students more empowered, but the very unpopular first two weeks of confusion are almost completely eliminated. It’s really a win-win-win. The students, school, and teacher all emerge victorious.” – Tim Baldo, VP of Curriculum

When asked for her opinion on the polarizing decision to flip the traditional method of teaching on its head, student Jenny Salter commented, “Considering how class was working out before, I can’t say it doesn’t make sense.”

“We feel making the teachers figure it out on their own was borderline cruel, so we’re speeding up the process by having the students teach the teachers what they should be teaching. It’s quite genius, actually.” – Baldo, continued

School Testing out Effect of Cry Room

In a remarkable strike of innovation, the School of Creating Creative Things (SCCT) has decided to put “Cry Rooms” in a select number of campuses.

“We feel an isolated place to go and let out all of their tears could be quite useful. Students used to have to go to the restroom or wait until the commute home to sob it out, but with these new dedicated grounds for misery, they’ll only have to walk a few feet from the classroom.” – John Markos, co-founder and president

UPDATE (6 months following): Unfortunately, due to the unforeseen tissue costs of campus Cry Rooms, the popular-but-short-lived safe spaces for sorrow will reportedly be discontinued.